NO!

Today when Buddy and I were on our walk, I was distracted. That is never a good thing. I don't remember what I was thinking but my mind sure was not on dog patrol. I was not checking for oncoming cars, dogs, old men in sweaters( that is story in itself) or cats. I was just innocently walking toward the park, checking out my neighbor's moss roses and enjoying the companionship of my dog on this warm summer morning. Now that I reflect, perhaps I was thinking about the morning's plan, tea with a friend, dash home for lunch and then off to the movie with my daughter( a rare treat). Who knows? At any rate, suddenly Buddy shot forward into the ivy hedge. I pulled back on his Gentle Leader( there is lesson waiting to be explored), and said, " No!" The object of his pulling was a nice juicy gray cat. He was in hot pursuit. Ah, but the beauty of the Gentle Leader is that where the head goes ,the body must go too. With a quick 'no' I proceeded forward to the park and he had to come along, gripping as he went.
" That was a nice fluffy, juicy cat. Why Can't I chase him? You are always saying I need exercise. I wasn't going to hurt him, just rough him up and little and maybe slobber on him. Do I have to leave the pursuit and follow you to the park? Boring!"
" I said No and I meant No. Come along, forget about it."
As we walked to the park, the word" NO" kept running through my head. "Where have I heard that before" ,I asked myself? Then it hit me. Paul wrote to Titus telling him to say "No" to desires in conflict with God's will and live self controlled lives in this present age, while we look for His appearing.
Huh? How does that apply to me?( I could see how it applied to Buddy)
Say no to holding a grudge
.Say no to passing on that gossip.
Say no to bending the truth to protect my image.
Say no to that second bowl of popcorn after a big dinner.
I could see, in my mind's eye that God has a Gentle Leader on me too in the from of His word. The choice is, will I follow along with a repentant spirit or grip all the way?

Say what?

Today as Buddy and I were walking back from the park, I saw the most unusual thing. What caught my attention was a yelling Scrub Jay in the tree. I stopped walking to see if I could find him and figure out what was going on.
You will never believe what I saw. There, about one branch away, was a cat sitting, while the Jay was yelling in it's face. Now, that cat really irritates me too, waking my dog in the middle of the night, haunting our 5:00 AM walks, etc. But you can't imagine how silly that looked, a bird squawking at a cat.
The cat did not move in any way!!!! It just sat there, staring.
I decided I have better get Buddy home before he looked up in the tree , saw that cat himself and begin adding his racket to the Scrub Jay's.
As I walked away, I could not help thinking about how I wished that when the evil one yells at me, I could just sit unmoving, not intimidated, not panicked.
I should remember that I only have to stand still. God will fight for me.
The battle is the Lord's
And He will conquer all of his enemies
With his right hand
And his holy arm
He will obtain
He will obtain
He will obtain the victory.

Cruel taskmaster

The last couple of weeks I have been extra tired. That is probably because Jon's work hours have changed. Instead of 1:30- 10:00 PM he now is on days, 6:00 AM to 2:30. So we are up at 5:00 AM and then I proceed to my time alone with the Lord, my work, my walk, etc. By the time bedtime comes I am pooped. Often I try a nap but I am usually not able to sleep.
One day this week I was dragging and needed to get busy with watering and my walk. It was 6:30 AM and I had zero energy or enthusiasm. Yet, I heard this little voice in my head saying, 'you have better suck it up and get going. You have lots to do and you don't want to be known as a slacker.'
Before I could even drag my chair back to get up, the Lord spoke very clearly in my mind. He reminded me of a concept in a book I read recently.( The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan) The Israelites in Egypt had cruel taskmasters to make sure that they worked 7 days a week and have not rest. But God rescued them and drown those slave drivers. I am not to revive those masters that he has removed. If I refuse to rest, I am subject to them again. I spurn the gift of rest.
My slave drivers are in my head. They hate for me to rest. They tell me lies such as " you can't rest until your work is done".
The truth is that it will never be done. Buddy makes sure of that, for one thing.
The rest of God is not a bonus for work completed. It is a sheer gift, a stop work order from God in the midst of work still undone.
So I slipped back to bed, napped and then had energy for all the things I needed to get done.
I am vowing to keep those taskmasters drown. How about you?
So get some iced tea and put your feet up with a good book. It's a gift from God.

Mary's messy day

Today was one of THOSE.
I spilled Buddy's special drink in the frig, out of the frig, dripping down the frig and then all over the floor. I wiped and Buddy licked.
Later in the morning I vacuumed an mopped the floor to remove the traces of the very sticky concoction followed by emptying and cleaning the entire frig.
Later still I decided that home made bread would go great with a big green salad and fruit for dinner. Somehow in the the process of putting the full pot into the bread machine , I spilled it all over the kitchen floor. Yes, the floor that I have just mopped on my hands and knees. I scooped it up, throwing it back into the pot, hoping that the 10 second rule held and pretending that it would turn into bread.
You can guess the result, it now is washed down my kitchen sink.
Once again I had to mop my floor! UGH!
To complete the dinner fiasco, Jon did not like the new salad dressing - too spicy - and the new cheese was too strong.
Tomorrow can't come too soon.
Every mistake was so visible. Don't you hate that. This was not a day for errors that could be swept under the bed, never to be discovered. Oh No.
Then I thought of David who asked God to reveal to him his hidden faults and I wondered if he did not have enough visible ones?
I sure did today.

God omnipresent

Who am I that God is mindful of me
That he hears me when I call?
It is true that he is thinking of me
How he loves me?
Its amazing.
David asked that question and I join him .
Yesterday is a good example.
On my round of errands, I stopped to get potting soil for some new 'babies'. I checked out the prices and decided that the 2 cubic bag was a better buy. I had not considered how I would get it into my basket. I tugged but gravity was working against me.
"Could you help me here Lord, I asked?"
No sooner had I voiced that prayer than a nice young man( I sound like an old woman don't I?) came by, saw the need and hefted it into my basket.
"Thank you so much" I said.
I wheeled it into the store , paid for it and proceeded to my car.
I thought I had it made now, since gravity would be in my favor but alas, I could not get it into my car .
Lo and behold the same young man appeared again, (I am not kidding) and put it in my trunk.
God is there when you need him.
Paul said:
My God will supply all your needs, according to his riches in Christ Jesus.
Thanks Lord for being everywhere at once.
I sure need you 24/7

Moses and a GPS

I am not technologically adept. That is an understatement. While others have a GPS in their car- I use my map and not map quest( That is a story for another time). Now, granted the map does not tell me where to turn or how many miles to the next bathroom, but it is dependable and needs not energy but mine.
My daughter and son in law even got into Geo Caching with their jeep a time or two and you sure have to have a GPS for that. That is way beyond me.
But the point of all this is that Moses had a GPS system in the desert and I did not even know it until this week.
What you say?
He had a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. It showed him when to go and when to stop and wait. It guided him right or left. The best part of that is that God himself, was in that .What a fool proof system.
Wish you had it as a believer?
You do! The Holy Spirit is your GPS today. He tells you when to go ahead, when it wait on God and when to avoid that pitfall.
Are you listening?

Can you hear it?

On Saturday Jon and I were out in his car running errands.
"What is that noise?"
" I don't hear anything"
" Something is rattling on your side of the car!"
" I am telling you, I don't hear anything"
" You are making me mad. I am telling you that I hear something. Check the glove box, check the seat belt, check something because there is a definite rattle"
I did all the above and still did not hear any noise but by now I was wise enough to not say that I did not hear it.
" Did any of that help?"
" NO!"
" Maybe you need to ride on this side and I will drive".
He did not answer but I think he was thinking 'over my dead body'.
We still have not resolved the rattle.
I keep thinking he could hear it because it is his car and he knows every sound in it. So the unusual stood out. To me, unfamiliar as I am with his car noises, I don't hear a thing wrong.
Jesus said that his sheep know his voice and they follow him. They know it from practice, day by day listening to him.
Question : If Jesus spoke to you, would you hear him? Or, like my dilemma in Jon's car, are you not tuned to his frequency from daily listening?

The miracle

Behind our fence there is a bike path. Beyond that there is a big field and then a street. We planted trees on the other side of the bike path several years ago as a screen. There at two Redwoods, a Cedar, two oleanders and four Eucalyptus trees.
One of the Eucalyptus tress was hit with spray when they were spraying for weeds in the big field last year. It lost lots of leaves and in a wind storm the whole tree snapped from the trunk and broke off completely. It is just a sad stump now. Jon has yet to cut it out though I have asked him to a couple of times.
To water our little forest, I have to go around the block to the back side. of the fence. Today as I was watering I discovered a miracle. There a numerous sprouts coming from the 'stump'. I can hardly believe it since the 'stump' appears to be' deader than a door nail'.
As I finished watered and headed off on my walk, I thought about a friendship that I have that seems to be 'deader than a door nail' too. I asked God to revive it like the tree, though there seems to be no life left in it.
I guess that I need to remember ' never give up hope.'
And with God hope never disappoints. ( Romans 5:5)

Buddy report part 2

Several days ago Buddy and Jon and I were on our walk. He saw a cat, his arch enemy, and pulled to chase it. Well, he pulled Jon too and it was quite a sight. It was funny because I was not the one with the leash in my hand.
We finally accomplished the 'project 'that we had set out on and hurried home, hoping to avoid the 'enemy' .
But low and behold, in the struggle, Buddy hurt his hip. He was limping and crying and crabby. Well, it was his fault, but we felt sorry for him. Once again he was dependent on us for pain medicine and the heating pad.
Do you remember that Jacob had his hip put out of place, too. Forever after he limped. He saw it as God's mercy to keep him close.
Sort of like the sheep that keeps going astray,. The shepherd breaks it leg and carried it on his shoulder until it heals and it never runs off again.
God loves us so that he will do what it takes to keep us close.
I am awed that Sovereign God wants me right next to him 24/7 because he loves me.

Buddy report

Our dog Buddy is about 14 years old. We got him as a stray at age 5. He is a faithful companion with a few quirky traits. One of those is that he must be walked many times a day since he will not relieve himself at home in his own yard. We are not sure why.
At times, it is a big hassle. For instance, in the pouring rain at 10:30 PM. UGH! And though he has indicated he needs to go, he is never in a hurry in the rain.
Recently he got an intestinal bug, poor thing. It was over the Memorial day weekend . I used all my home remedies to no avail. And since I am a tight wad, we did NOT take him to the emergency vet but had to wait until Tuesday morning. By Monday we were making multiple trips , including several in the middle of the night.
As aggravating as it was, I thought about how dependent he was on us. That must have made him even more anxious than he was already from his illness. He knew he must come to us and get us to respond to him ASAP.
I am happy to report that$ 89.00 later, including antibiotics, special dog food and several packs of Activia, he is his old healthy self again.
Dependence. None of us likes that feeling. We fight like anything to avoid giving up control. Yet I have learned from experience that surrendering to God is the place of peace and joy and rest. God does know best and he always responds to my needs.
Well, I have to sign off as Buddy is nudging me to take him out!

Transposed

We pay our bills online.
Last year I went to pay the PG&E bill of $3.60 and instead paid $36.00. How silly of me. It did mean that I did not have a bill until fall.
Well, the inefficiency continues. This month I transposed the amount of our house payment and that meant that I only paid 1/2! Funny thing but not so funny. Especially to the mortgage company. Seems that they have to have the full amount. Imagine that!!!
It was not funny to the head of our household either, to say the least.
When I discovered the truth this morning, I felt as though someone had hit me in the stomach. Maybe someone wanted to , who knows. Probably me!
"How stupid can you be Mary?"
"Why don"t you pay attention to what you are doing? I thought you bragged about being the detail person in your home and family."
And other such recriminations.
But then the Spirit reminded that there is no one perfect except God and he does not expect me to be perfect. WHEW!
Why do I think or act or try to be perfect? That's too deep to deal with here.
But I do know that the lesson today was not 'shame on me' but that failure is a good learning experience- it defeats pride and the Lord knows I need that lesson daily. So I have had mine for the day, I hope.

Beautiful feet

At the retreat last month, I had my first chance to have a pedicure. Well sort of. Like my sister in law who cleaned her house before the housekeeper came, I clipped my toe nails and polished them before I went, so they would be in presentable shape.
What a treat to soak them in special foot soak and then have someone dry and put lotion on them. Actually it was very humbling. But I thought that my feet were , well, sort of beautiful.
I came home and ordered special heel cream since I am now into sandals and find that my feet become like dog pads. UGH!
Did you know that God tells how to have beautiful feet?
You have beautiful feet if you share the good news that Christ came and died and rose again to rescue you from the kingdom of darkness and bring you in to the kingdom of God.
So how are you feet?
What will you do about it this week?

All my heart

My eldest grandson moved out last week after high school graduation. Well, moved out is a relative term. Actually he took his bed but not much else. Ask his Mom. He left more behind than he took and it is filling up the room she wants to reclaim to 'stage' her move next month. Clothes, outgrown clothes for his son, baby bottles, etc. as well as papers, lots of papers and who knows which one might be important since there is no system for them. She is busy this weekend sorting and boxing and throwing away what she can.
A verse I was thinking on this morning said this:
I will praise the Lord with my whole heart.
I got this mental picture of my heart being full of stuff , like that room I just described. Worries, unhealed pain, unforgiveness, pride , poor self concept, disappointments and lots more.
I guess that, like my daughter, I need to sort out and dispose of the things that fill my heart and leave no room for the Lord or praise.
I want to praise with a heart full of only HIM!

Trusting in what

What am I trusting in? That was the question that the Lord asked me last night on my walk. I was still battling anxiety over my crazy checkbook.
God brought Psalm 20:7 to mind:

Some trust in chariots
Some trust in horses
But we trust in the name of the Lord our God.

King David was talking about protection in battle.
Some trusted in the number of their chariots.
Some counted on the quality of their horses.
David knew that only the Lord his God was worthy of trust and only His God was trustworthy.

God rephrased the verse for me:
Some trust in their checkbooks and some in their savings accounts, but the godly woman trusts in the name of the Lord her God. One name that came to mind was Jehovah Jireh- The Lord will provide. That promise inherent in God's name is worthy of trusting in.

Balance the book

Today I did my least favorite job- balance the checkbook. I would rather iron that do it but today was the day.
First I have to gather all the slips and the checkbook and the statement. Then add and subtract and hope that the bank and my register balance or agree. I realized I forgot to list and subtract the gas I got the first part of May- UGH! I looked and looked for another entry and feared I have forgotten to enter it too, but finally found it. I almost pulled my hair out over another error. Finally the moment of truth.
I was off a few cents. Good enough for me.
Many think that God does the same for us. He looks at his register of our good deeds and our bad deeds and hopefully they balance out. He adds some things we forgot about - that unforgiveness we are holding on to, that gossip we passed on and added to and the smart crack we made about the neighbor down the street. Then he subtracts the deeds we were so proud of because we already received man's praise. Will I ever succeed to make heaven this way?
No way!
The truth is that God only has one book that He checks on and the Bible calls it the 'Lamb's book of life.' If your name is written in there, you are part of the family and spend eternity with the Lord. If not, no amount of 'good deeds' will get you in. You can have your name written in there when you believe that God raised Jesus from the dead and by faith put your trust in HIM . Then God writes your name in the book and marks PAID in FULL. Jesus makes it balance.

Losers?

Our family seems to be going through a rash of losing things.
It began years ago, I have to admit ,when we lost the birth certificates, marriage licence and divorce papers all at the same time. 10 years later they have still not been found.
More recently someone lost a very important check that had to be re-issued and so did another in our family.
In the last week another family member lost her ATM cards twice, not finding it the second time. UGH!
Yet another misplaced his checkbook ,which finally turned up in a very funny place.
I seem to lose my chap stick times without number- so much so that I have three, though Ruth has many more for the same reason.
Yesterday I lost the money I was giving my grandson for his birthday and only found it at the last minute.
Does losing things make you a loser?
NO! It means that you lose things, an act. It does not mean that your character is that of a loser- a term of shame.
Jesus told three parables about people that lost things in Luke 15. The lost sheep, the lost coin and the lost son. In each case, the one looking rejoiced when what was lost was found. thtat is me when I find my chap stick again.( smile)
The third story is really about God longing for us to come to him and no longer be like the lost son.
The following song has been running through my heart the last day or so:
In heaven's eye there are no losers
In heaven's eyes, no hopeless cause
Only people like you with feelings like me
Amazed at the grace they can find
In heaven's eyes.

Not forgotten

Timothy Edwin Lobdell
1-2-39 to 6-1-06

I can't believe that is has been a year since my brother died.
So many times I have wanted to call him about this or that.
In reality my mind can't wrap itself around the truth. How can he be gone? I can't even finish the good by letter that hospice recommended I write.
But it is true and today is a day to face that.
He is gone but I will never forgot him.
God does not forget us either. He says that we are inscribed on the palms of his hands, and on his heart.