Beauty

As I dressed for the graduation last night, I battled how I looked.
Ugly hands
Belly fat
Hair needs touch up with color and no time.
Wrinkles
Well, you get the picture.
Who was I worried about impressing? Not my girls and surely not my grandson who probably thinks I am as old as Methuselah. No, to be honest, it was my ex. Silly huh? I sure don't know why I was feeling that way.
But, the Lord quickly gave me another check list:
Goodness- the quality of my soul.
Knowledge - to know God personally
Self control - restraint because I am thinking clearly
Perseverance - stand my ground when I want to give up. It's always too soon to quit.
Godliness - Christlike character.
Brotherly kindness- Love who God loves
Love- Love as God loves, unconditional
'Those things', he said,' are just as obvious to those around me as belly fat or ugly hands. And they matter more.'
God wants to do an extreme makeover and He intends to begin on the inside.

Ex's

There is an old country western song that goes something like this:
I can't go to Texas because all my ex's live in Texas.
Last night was a night for ex's. My eldest grandson graduates from high school and my ex- husband was there as well as my daughter's ex-husband ( my grandsons' dad)
There is a haunting thing about ex's.
Ex-husband
Why was there not enough love to keep that vow- 'til death do us part?' No one goes into a marriage with the thought of ex. No one wants to be any one's ex. I sure didn't and neither did my daughter. It's painful term full of unanswered questions , undefined hurt and unrequited love.
But God will never be an ex-husband. He says that he betroths us to him forever. He has loved us with an everlasting love. He could never give us up. He loves us unconditionally. He is love. He is eternal. Only he can assure us that he will never divorce us or cheat on us or abandon us.

Check your underwear

When I was growing up, my mom always said, don't leave the house with scroungy underwear on lest you have an emergency and have to go to the hospital. That proved good advice a couple of years ago when I passed out visiting a friend at the hospital and became a patient ASAP. I did have clean neat underwear and did not have to panic about being transferred from visitor to patient.
Buddy had that moment yesterday. He had been ill since Saturday evening( intestinal stuff) and all home remedies were to no avail. So we have to take him to the Vet. Now, he does not wear underwear of course, but he did have to wear his gentle leader ( over his nose and around his head) And it was dirty with dog slobber. It did need washing or replacing but there was no time.
He had to stay the day and put up with cats, his nemesis.
I am glad to report that he is doing better since he came home last night. He is tired from his illness and all the excitement at the vet, but dramatically recovered.
One final thought, when my last moment on earth comes, I do not have to worry about my clothing . At the moment of salvation, Jesus removed my filthy, torn garments and clothed me with his robe of righteousness, clean and new. So when he called, I can leave ASAP with no concerns.

Satisfied customer

Well, if you have followed the 'star patrol' I have good news to report. The problem is solved and I have done the mortician job- though the casket is the garbage can. I found both Stuart Little and Templeton dead. Whew!
I am a satisfied customer for sure. I wonder if the poison company would pay me for my story?
Pondering satisfied, I though about how that is not often how I feel about things. Yet in my walk yesterday God prompted me to reflect on Psalm 103:5 which says that HE satisfies my desires for good things. I don't mean dead rodents, but joy and peace and the freedom to let things go and not obsess about them or the future. He satisfies my desire for love and approval and acceptance. God says taste and see that the Lord is good, the only one who does good all the time.
That makes me a satisfied customer for sure.

Stars everywhere

Remember that 'star' stands for rats backwards.
The other evening as I was talking with my daughter ,I spied a mouse trying to get in the glass door from our patio. I tried to catch him with a pie pan- what was I thinking??? He ran off and I gave chase to no avail.
Then I resumed my conversation and now spied a 'star' in the bird feeder, eating contentedly. I ran out and he didn't even move until I was just about on him.
Now I had to face that we were being overrun with rodents. Jon hates them and I am the rodent patrol as well as the rodent mortician.
Off the to store to gather supplies. In the past, I have had good luck with sticky pads for the mice but the rats are too smart. So I passed them up. Next I considered some blocks of poison. Seemed a good alternative, except for the dog issue. But drastic times call for drastic measures.
I deposited the poison and had to carefully tell Jon about not letting the dog out without telling the whole story.
The next morning both blocks of poison were gone as was the one I put out the next night. Now Whatever is in the blocks must be very tasty. Now I just have to wait for them to die.
James says that when we are tempted that we are carried away and enticed by our own lust. Carried away gives the picture of bait in a trap. ( star bait). Good lesson the next time I am tempted with an overwhelming urge to do what I know it wrong or not good for me. I need to visualize the 'star bait' and think of his end.

Austraila is not any better

Today Jon had a terrible horrible no good very bad day, just like Alexander.
He woke up with an ear plugged and I was unable to unplug it with Peroxide.
We went out to get gas and after already pumping we noted that they were charging three cents extra for using our ATM.
I fixed Grilled cheese sandwiches and forgot to remove the paper in between the slices and all the cheese melted on the paper and when I removed it- at serving time- there was only bread left.
The Ice tea was stale.
And the worst thing was he has open house to set up and clean up after tonight.
I tried to tell him that it would do no good to go to Australia because things are crazy there too, but he was doubtful.
I thought about Barbara Johnson's quote' Life is hard and then you die.' I add my own line-' and in Heaven things never are wacko and weird and trying.'

Unfinished

I would hate to have you look into either my knitting bag or box.
In my bag you would see the beginnings of some cute pillows for my nieces- with a pocket in the front I am going to fill with treats- when I finish them. Next you would come across my newest project- a shrug with simply soft yarn. It says it is a beginner project, so we will see.
Before I began the pillows, I was working on a sampler afghan- each square is a different stitch. I am using a variety of pinks and whites. But the pillow pattern was so cute I put the afghan aside for now. And then I wanted a short project so put the pillow aside and I did a few hot pads in Lion Brand's cotton two for me and one for Deborah.
In my knitting box there are a few scarfs that I made in the winter that I need to weave in the ends. I had them done in plenty of time for the homeless at the mission but now it's too hot. So they are tucked away- for another time.
Oh, I forgot that I did finish two beanies for my grandsons while it was still cool. But that was in the middle of my afghan project.
All this came to my mind the other morning as God was re-enforcing Phil 1:6 saying that HE always completes what He begins - in the lives of each of His children. What a blessing to know that I am not stuffed in a box somewhere in heaven, long forgotten. God is still working on me, to make what He created me to be.
More on this thought tomorrow.

Wilted

Last week we made a fun trip to our favorite nursery. Among the things that we chose was a tomato plant. We had tried one years ago to no avail. But' try, try again' so we brought home a science experiment, I guess.
Yesterday morning I woke to see it all wilted over. UGH. I jumped out of bed and ran to it's side. I mixed up some B1 and poured it on quickly. I was not sure if it would survive but I had to try. Since it is in a pot and not in the ground yet, it does have to depend on me and I had let the poor thing down. I am happy to report that by lunch time it was fine again.
Sometimes I feel wilted like my tomato plant. hit by a blast of physical pain or anxiety. And just like my plant, I have to run and get a drink from the Word.
Jeremiah had something to say about that:
Blessed is the woman who trusts in the Lord. She will be like a tree( or tomato plant) planted by the water that extends it roots by a stream. It will not fear when heat comes but it's leaves will be green ( and not wilted). It will not be anxious in a year of drought( when someone forgets to water) nor cease to yield fruit( Boy I hope that it true for my plant).
Kind of reminds me again of Psalm 112:7 she will have not fear of bad news. Her heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
I don't want to be a wilted plant so I am fixing my confidence on the Lord and that will water my soul.

Chances

Yesterday morning I was walking Buddy and feeling miserable due to my pancreatic pain. UGH!
A friend recently reminded me that due to my Chronic Pancreatitis I have a greater chance of developing Pancreatic cancer- which has a very low cure rate. I already knew that but my pain yesterday reminded me of that fact. That does not mean I WILL get it but I have a higher probability.
Just a quickly God spoke to me about my concern about one of my grandsons. Due to some temperament factors and family issues he has a higher chance of developing emotional problems in the upcoming years of his life.
As I shared recently, God gave me a verse about that earlier this week: She will have no fear of bad news, her heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.( Psalm 112:7)
Now God related to the odds of pancreatic cancer I had just been thinking about. While it is true that this grandson has some predisposing factors, it does NOT mean he has a 100% chance of dealing with the emotional problems I had been contemplating.
Wow, what a relief. God just has been so precious, reassuring me day by day on this concern.

Gardening with God

I love gardening.
Deborah, who recently moved back to our area, is learning to love it too. I think it is the joy of seeing things grow. They planted pumpkins and morning glories from seed as well as four o'clocks and all have sprouted. It's so exciting.
I usually opt out and buy six paks ready to plant. I am trying my hand at a tomato plant this year but unlike my friend Bob, I did not try from seed. I guess I am sceptical about my ability to nurture such a fragile thing.
Have you even noticed that weeds do not need to be nurtured? For example, blow on the top of a fluffy dandelion stem and millions of seeds float out and find homes to grow quickly.
I had a dream about that. ( do you have weird dreams too?) God put a spiritual face on the dream saying that his passion is to see believers scatter millions of seeds sharing the good news about his love for all men and longing for them to choose to know him persoanlly.
'How ',I asked?
'By an authentic life- full of compassion and willingness to sacrifice time and resources for others with no agenda. As your Father would have said,' put your money where your mouth is'. Another way is extending those Christ-like qualities to those who value things very differently than you. Those kind of seeds will yield thiry, sixty and one hundred fold.'
I will have to ponder this and watch for ways to scatter seeds this week.
I will keep you posted.

Word alive

In our house we love words. I read the newspaper, including the comics each morning. After Jon finished his perusal of the paper, he hits the Internet for more updated news.
I read part of a book each day and if I do not discipline myself, I have two books going at the same time.
Along with the above reading, I love to read God's word daily too. But it is different in that is it living and active. I call it my sword. It cuts to the heart of matters in my life, either convicting or encouraging me as needed.
The newspaper can't do that. It is just a report. It is not life changing.
Let me share an example from the last 24 hours of my life.
Last night in a conversation with a friend, fear raised it ugly head about one of my grandsons and his future. As I hung up, I began to churn inside, battling the 'what if's' we had discussed. Just as quickly the Holy Spirit reminded me of the psalm that I am memorizing.
Psalm 112:7 She will have not fear of bad news. Her heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
Almost immediately I felt peace descend.
Then this morning I had a bad dream in which Jon left for a mysterious Brenda! I was overwhelmed in my dream and then I heard myself say :
She will have not fear of bad news. Her heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
When I woke I repeated the verse and the impact of the dream faded quickly.
I am glad that the Word is alive and timely and active in my life.
Check it out.

How time flies or what's up?

The last post was written when family crisis hit.
About the same time I faced that fact that I was battling the blues.
Note to self:
Don't over-analyze why you feel blue.
I could find too many reasons.
The loss of my brother- still painful.
Family crisis with grandson- Duh!
High pain level and lack of deep sleep.
Self imposed stress just going and doing too much.
Anxiety about the upcoming retreat in May where I was to speak.
I have to say that I did come to a decision about how to face the blues:
Keep to my normal routine and delay dealing to see if it goes away by itself.
That did and did not work.
I did begin to have times of day that were depression free and rejoiced in that. But I still felt I have to DO something to make it all go away.
My grandson stabilized.
I got my pain under control.
I reduced my running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. I enjoyed some days to just sit in my garden and read.
My winter Bible Study ended and while I missed to ladies, it was good to have a break.
I found myself in the Psalms morning after morning. Sometimes I only read and meditated on a few verses for the whole time.
Then I hit this:
Psalm 86:4
Bring Joy to your servant for to you I lift up my soul.
Wow- That was the key. God was the source of Joy.
My job- just lift my soul to him.
His job- fill my soul with the joy of the Lord.
Wow- I am back in the land of the living.
Thanks Lord.