I don't understand

As I watch the devastation from Hurricane Katrina I have more questions than answers. Why do they have a city built below sea level? Why did they not allow planes to fly out on Sunday from New Orleans? Why did so many stay when they should have gone? How will they ever get all that water out? Will there be enough people to rescue those still waiting. How will they transport them out of there- 1.5 million people?
There is a bigger question. If God is Sovereign, and He is, why did He allow this? God ,is this the way you treat your children? I thought you cared about them. Even Moses weighted in on this in his day.
" Lord, why have you brought trouble upon this people? Is this why you sent me?"
Satan would love to use the pain of tragedy to make us feel victimized by God. Let me assure that God can be trusted, even when he can't be tracked. When you can't see his plan, trust his heart.
Most of us have too small an image of God. If we truly understood His majesty and the depth of his love, we would accept those times when he defies human logic, like now.
I read a comment by Dr. Dobson that I close with:
Store away your questions in a box marked " Things I don't understand" and leave them there and be thankful that God does what is best for us whether or not it conforms to our wishes.

The Road less traveled

The miracle of the internet is that you can access anything.Today I simply typed in the title of the above listed poem by Robert Frost and was able to read it and print it out. If you are not familiar with this famous poem, it is about coming to a fork in the road and deciding which road to take. One is well trveled and appealing. The other is 'less traveled'. He chooses the latter and says that' that has made all the difference'.
I came to that place too, and chose the narrow road that leads to life, though there a few who travel on it with me. Actually if there was only ONE it would be enough. No, with God is more than just enough.

Another pest!

Last night Jon went to the cupboard to eat one of the sweet rolls he had purchased the day before. The next thing I knew he was shrieking.
Now what, I wondered. Can't be a 'star' in the house. So what?
His lovely, as yet uneaten sweet rolls, were covered with a zillion black ants. Yuck! So out to the trash they had to go.
Then this morning I was reading in the book of Proverbs and came to this verse:
" Go to the ant you sluggard; consider her ways and be wise."
So I decided to look up a few facts about ants.
Except for the queen ant, they are workers who look for food, look after the young and defend the nest. When they find a good food source, they leave a trail of scent for others can find it.
Now, I know that the verse as talking about being busy and not lazy. But with the facts I just mentioned about ants, I see another parallel.
I , as God's child, go to Him for food each day. I then love to leave a trail so others can find it too. In fact, that is one of the purposes of this blog. So I will continue to heed King Solomon's advice to consider the ways of the ant.

Response

I heard this comment yesterday again and had to share it:
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we deal with it.
Take the life of Joseph. He faced the pain of a dysfunctional family. In his case, he was the favored child and that led to hatred by his brothers that finally boiled over into the desire to kill him. God led these angry brothers to sell himself instead.
'Its' not fair', he could have whined and complained but his response was to trust God was in control and honor his new boss.
Then life got more unfair. Mrs. Potiphar tried unsuccessfully to seduce him and when he refused her over and over, she framed him and off to jail he went for doing the right thing by honoring God and his boss. His response? He trusted God had it completely and totally under control. The benefit of such trust is inner peace and rest. Don't we all want that?
I am going to print up that quote and apply it this week to the challenges that I face. Because, if God is in control of my life, I can deal with anything by trusting Him and not whining or complaining. There is no rest and peace in that.

Differences

Yesterday I was pondering how different my dear Deborah and I are. Then I had an epiphany. There are so many things that we have in common. Of course the obvious ones are that we are women, mothers, wives and sisters. Beyond that we love animals and rescuing wounded souls. We love to read and write out our thoughts and even creative stories, though she is much better at that than I am.
But it goes way deeper. We both have dreams for ourselves that we fear will never come to pass. We both have deep wounds from our past, some others did to us and some we did to ourselves.
We have known the rejection of dear friends and lived to trust another friend. In fact, we are fiercely loyal to our friends.
We have bravely moved from home and family to pursue higher education. We did it as single Moms with kids, at a time when we had no idea how it would all turn out. Subsequent to that move we found the love of our lives and married them.
Perhaps I wanted her to be a clone of me. So unrealistic!
And as my Father used to say, " If we were all alike, it would be a very dull world."
Even God does not want clones or robots. He gave us each unique personalities and a free will to love or reject Him. He wants to conform us to the image of his Son- that is to be patient, kind, gentle, loving, forgiving, compassionate, faithful, merciful, gracious,peaceful and joyful. But he does not want automatons. He who created pansies and petunias and periwinkles loves variety . Better yet he just loves.
In the same way, I love my Deborah, with all her uniqueness.

Double take

Have you heard that it's not over until the fat lady sings. Well, I guess that fat lady had not sung yet as we have another dead 'star' this morning! Now I really do hope that that is all.
Made me glad that until I breath my last breath, there is time to pray for my loved ones to know the love of God, to see God deal with besetting sin in my life and to prepare my heart for eternity. But when the Trumpet sounds, I am out of here and it will be over.

Rest in peace

Well, persistence pays off. To put it another way " if at first you don't succeed, try, try again." All this to say, the 'star' went to his rest' last night and was kind enough to 'rest' where I could locate him with my eyes and not my nose. Thus ends the saga of the 'star.' I will not miss the hassle but it was kind of exciting.
But, don't worry, I am sure there will be other educational adventure just around the corner. I just need to ask the Lord to get me the ears of a learner.

Controlling Crafty Critters

The above is the title of the book we picked up at the library yesterday. Really it is. Here are some of the suggestions:
1. Live trap - create your own by doing the following:
Put a bent coat hanger through a soda can that you have smeared with peanut butter- crunchy style. Hang over a bucket. Build a ramp so that the 'star' can climb up to reach the can. When he does he will fall into the bucket. But they neglected to tell me what to do then!
2. Lethal methods -
hanging mouse trap - sure
sticky board - right
poisons- of course they are quick to tell you that the 'star' will crawl off and die and stink. I can attest to that from prior experience.
My all time favorite is to go out at night with a flashlight and a .22. Find the thing and kill it!
Having read and discounted all the above, Gabriel created his own trap. Quite a creative thing if you ask me. His bait was kettlecorn from the Farmer's market, a Ritz cracker with peanut butter and some bird seed thrown in for good measure. He covered this with a box propped open slightly with a stick.
When we can home from church last night the trap was sprung. Now we realized we have two problems. One, we had no way to know what was underneath it. Two, what to do when we lifted the lid and found something. Gabriel was undaunted and marched right out with his trusty fire poker and lifted the box. Only ants- how disappointing.
I am to the point of considering a peaceful co- existence. There are two problems with that trend of thinking:
1. Jon hates 'star' and refused to rest easy until it is GONE.
2. The book says they can have litters 6-12 times a year. UGH
All this has made me think about the Israelites when they returned from Egypt to conquer the land again. God said that they must totally eliminate all the enemies. No peace treaties, no intermarriage, etc. Why? They would end up losing focus on the Lord and turn to the idols of the Canaanites, eventually worshipping and offering their children in sacrifice.
Today we do not battle the Canaanites but we do battle selfishness and self -centeredness rather than God-centeredness. We must defeat that enemy of self rule at any cost. We will end up living for ourselves alone and life will be about Me, Me, Me. We hate that in others and God hates it us.
So I guess I can't co-exist with the 'star' anymore that I can with self rule.
Maybe I will try poison pellets again???

Star flash

My youngest grandson Gabreil joined me yesterday for a last minute vacation. He came in time to get in on the 'star' search! Since I last wrote, no luck in catching and destroying this star. UGH!!!
Last night we did go on the net and did research about how to catch 'stars'. They were so hopeful- buy a mouse trap. Sure!! They don't know our 'star'.
This morning after a breakfast of pancakes, we were reading Proverbs 1. It talks about being wise -that is, knowing what to do and doing it. King Solomon writes- when rebellious ones entice you to go with their plan of evil- turn your back on them. Why? Because in the end, they will hurt themselves most of all.
I love verses 17, 18:
When a bird( 'star') sees a trap being set, it stays far away. But not these people! They set an ambush for themselves; they booby trap their own lives.
As we sat discussing what that meant, I referred to the 'star' watching as we set a trap for him. He probably laughs and stays just far enough away as necessary to avoid capture, but close enough to garner tasty leftover seeds . He is, in that sense, wise. I turned to point to the place that I often see the star as I was talking and he appeared! Talk about an object lesson. Ours was complete with 'star'.
Now, if we can just figure out how to outwit him.

On another note

No news on the" star". He is too sneaky. More later I hope.
Thought for today:
I heard this song just shortly after talking with a friend who was really hurting. I, of course, did all the wrong things. Talked too much. Offered platitudes, failed to just listen, tried to fix. So I share these words to challenge me again as well as you.

Now its the time for tears.
Don't speak, save your words
There's nothing you can say
To take this pain away
Don't try to hard
You can just simply be
Cry with me, don't try to fix me friend
That's how you'll comfort me.
By
Charlie Peacock

Sticky Star

Here is the latest:
No 'star' stuck today. Jon had me beat the bushes in the patio with a hoe while he watched from the house. I did not find a dead 'star' only the sticky tray- empty. Ugh!
Then, just now while I was on the phone with Jon I saw IT! Long tail and all.
A chance conversation with my Santa Cruz son-in-law earlier in the day revealed that 'star' like peanut butter. I have just dribbled some on the sticky tray. Now we wait again.
To double our chances of success, we have also put bait outside the garage door, lest they come through the crack and attack Jon when he gets out of the car this evening. I hope to have good news tomorrow.
I am sure that the 'star' can relate to the saying of Mark Twain" My demise was greatly exaggerated".
I think that this all proves that you have to be vigilant in cleaning out all traces of the selfish nature. It can come back so fast, only having hidden under ground waiting for the next quiet moment to destroy your peace, your joy, and/ or your security. Be on the alert.

Star update

Last night Jon brought home the most amazing 'trap'. It is made of Styrofoam about the size of a meat packing tray. It is covered with sticky stuff and bait. The idea is that the' star' will step into the tray to get the tasty bait and get stuck. Are you asking the questions I did? Then what? I presume that then I will have to hit the thing on the head with a shovel so that peace and safety will reign again in my little domain.
Before bed Jon and I set the trap. Today, no 'star', stuck or otherwise. I did not see him at lunch and the tray empty. When I got home this evening after an afternoon out, the tray was not only empty- it is gone. Now where can a 'star' go with a tray stuck to his feet? Certainly not over the fence. Jon wanted me to check through the ivy in the yard- but no way. I drew the line there.
So for now, it will have to wait until I smell it and then collect it for the trash. Until then, Jon has declared the backyard off limits. I asked him to whom.
" To me," he replied.
I have seen fly paper where flies get stuck on it, but this is my first' rodent tape'
As I thought about the 'star' in my yard somewhere trapped, I thought about a young woman of my acquaintance who is also in a trap. She, like the 'star', was drawn there by her own internal desire. Then she was dragged away , stuck. The bait was appealing but now the truth has hit and she must fight to get free. If not, she, like the 'star', will find that desire will give birth to death.
Unlike the 'star', she has a power source in the Lord if she will only call out to Him. There is great hope for her.
The Message puts Romans 5:5 this way:
In alert expectancy( hope) for whatever God will do next, we are never left feeling short changed. Quite the contrary. We can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives by His Holy Spirit, the greatest of which is his love.
Stay tuned on this.

Phobia or Palindrome

You do really know what a palindrome is, you just never knew the word for it. Neither did I. It is a word or phrase that reads the same backward or forward. For instance, Pop or Mom. How about Toyota? Or the phrase' part radar trap'?
In our family we have a well guarded secret. Now it is a secret no more. Jon has a phobia of 'star'. Can you guess what that is? Let me give you a hint? It's a rodent with a long skinny tail and sharp teeth. "rats". But we only use the word star. You can see that this is a palindrome of sorts.
So why this fixation on star? Well, one has appeared on our backyard. Unfortunately it arrived about the same time that Jon decided to change the chair he sits in at the table. Now he can see into the patio, not just the wall.
As he was talking to his sister on Sat., he began shrieking and waving his hands. You see, among other tasks, I am the pest control agent.( Don't mention to him that he used to do pest control professionally. I think that is where he developed this phobia. He had to go under someone house to track down star. UGH.)
At any rate, I headed out back to hit the thing with water- to no avail. Next I brought the bait box from the side of the house and felt I had done my duty. But, alas, at lunch today, I watched in silence as the star feasted on leftover bird seed, again and again. Then, it happened. Jon saw it out of the corner of his eye. I calmly told him I would get some new bait today.
He said " Keep all the doors tightly shut and don't let the dog out there. It probably has rabies. I will bring home bait."
The moral of the story, you have to take drastic action to deal with pests, in your garden or your life. You can't just hit it with water and hope it will wander away. Poison is the only solution.
I'm glad that God is in the 'pest control business' and he has 100% success in ridding pests from any life that calls on Him.

Cover your mouth

My Father always said that I was vaccinated with a phonograph needle. The meaning? I talked too much.
When Ruth was in kindergarten she got in trouble for talking too much. She even had her mouth taped shut. Today, that would be a no-no.
Deborah's report cards always included a note that she talked too much.
So it should be no surprise, given the family track record ,that this week I spoke when I should have kept my mouth shut.
One of my favorite woman author's is Barbara Johnson. She says that when pain is freshest, words should be few. Too bad I didn't listen.
King Solomon put it this way:
When words are many, sin in not absent. But he who holds his tongue is wise.
Even a fool is considered wise if he keeps silent and discerning if he holds his tongue.
Even my dear departed Father in law had a word on this. It was not an original thought. It was borrowed from Solomon:
A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.
Interesting quote coming from him! He claimed it was his Father's favorite verse.
I am so thankful that the one who endured my babbling, insensitive mouth was a gracious forgiver.
Enough said.

Body piercing

We played hooky yesterday and drove to a nearby lake to cool off. On that way I saw the neatest bumper sticker:
Body piercing saved my life.
I pondered that I came up with this thought - Jesus was pierced for my sin. So I guess I am for body piercing!!!

The passing

With the passing of Peter Jennings I find myself shocked that medicine has not advanced all that much.
My Father died of lung cancer in 1971. It's initial discovery is a story in itself. I was in RN training and insisted that my Father and Mother have screening chest x-rays that the health department gave. They drove down from Sonora to Modesto to satisfy me. Boy was I glad that I nagged. They found lung cancer in my Father and he promptly had 1/3 of his right lung removed at Stanford. At the time we thought his hospital bill was outrageous. Today it would look like a clerical error!
If only that xray could have predicted my Mom's stroke the next year. Frankly just checking her blood pressure would have, if they had done that. In 1965 home blood pressure machines were not available. Nor were they at the local drug store.
In 1966 my Father developed cancer again and had radiation which arrested it for almost 5 years. But almost was not good enough. The autopsy said that it had eaten his lung and gone around his heart. But we did have him 7 extra years.
The news said today that 75% died of lung cancer in the first two years and 90% in five. Strange that my Father did better than that in the 70's????
Of course, the bottom line is that 100% of us die. If not of cancer, then something else. God put it this way " Everyone one has to die and then face the consequences."
Think about it.

I am really mad!

OK, so I admit it. I am really mad.
First off the petunia moth destroyed my revived pink hanging petunia basket. The she moved on to the snapdragons. Then some beetle is eating my new purple verbena.
If that is not enough, we noted on our walk that our trees over the fence have been hit with some type weed spray( probably by the city) and are loosing leaves and generally turning 'green around the gills'.
Now that may seem trivial to you, but as a O/C I hate things happening that I can't control. Of course, control is a matter of perspective . None of us can really control much of anything. Not our weight, our finances or our tongues, let alone our gardens.
Control - synonyms are:
govern, regulate, command, dominate, master, restrain. I don't know about you, but I have not been able to command the petunia moth or restrain her. I have not been able to regulate the way my neighbor parks his car on the street, all 4 of them. I have no been able to dominate the traffic on the freeway. Neither have I been able to control my O/C thoughts, my rut thinking.
Who has the control? If I don't it had better be someone who has my best interest at heart. Someone who does not get up on the wrong side of the bed or have a bad day and then take it out on me.
Want to know a secret? God meets that criteria. He is the Sovereign Lord of the universe and the Maker of my heart so He knows me well. Every good and perfect gift comes from Him. Even those things that may not appear good at first glance.
Let me explain. Suppose you were my little child and I took you to the toy story and told you to pick any game you wanted and I would buy it- board game. You pick monopoly and though you are way too young, we take it home and you enjoy lining up the house's, etc. Suppose the next time I tell you that, you pick a Ouija board. I tell you that I know more about this and it would not be good for you. You might question, 'Do you love me? I want this". But I would be firm in my denial since I knew more than you. That explains why things don't always appear 'fair' at first glance.
But, for me, when I can't see God's hand, I can trust His heart.
Now, I still can't command about petunia moths, but I have Adam to blame for that I guess!!!!

Perfection

Another night of Monk. What is behind obsessive/ compulsive is the thought that is things were perfect, life would be perfect too. But, of course, things can never be perfect.
I try so hard to be perfect for that very reason, so life will be easy. But I realized today that I have another motive. I think that being perfect will please God.
But He says faith is what pleases him, not perfection.
What a relief!
Now maybe I can relax.

Near sighted

Both our daughters are near sighted. That means they can see near things but not far away without contacts or glasses. In fact, they can't read the big E on the chart without correction.
When they got into high school we allowed them to get contacts. Debe wrote a piece for school about how great it was with contacts that she could sleep in. If she woke at night she could tell if it was her cat or a rodent at the end of her bed.
Ruth refused to wear glasses and could only tell friends walking her way by their shape.
Today I read a quote that really hit me:
"Often we have no conception of what God is aiming at and as we go on it gets more and more vague. God's aim looks like missing the mark because we are too short sighted to see what He is aiming at."
Oswald Chambers
I have felt that way this year with so many dying around me. A newborn, a Mother, a Father, a spouse, a sister and on it has gone. And, to be honest, I have wondered what God is doing in some of those cases. This quote put is all in perspective. I will put on my spiritual contacts so I can see the long range plan that God has. Even if I don't know his plan, I can trust his heart- it is always for our good.

Wilted bouquet

It is funny the things I see that relate to my life.
Today I was watering the trees and plants on the other side of our fence. I have to put the hose over the fence( by the way it sprung a leak so I will have to go out later and got a new one) and walk around to the bike trail and field behind to reach the thirsty 'babies'. I have to do this several times a week. I know, you are thinking, why not either put in a gate or a line under the fence for sprinklers. Too much work I guess. Anyway, I walk on the rest of the way after watering so I get a walk out of it.
We have some huge pampas grass but this year they had not had any plumes. Jon has thought perhaps it was my 'way'of watering. Ugh. Anyway, today I noticed several plumes coming up. I began to feel smug about the 'way' I water. Obviously it IS productive.
Quick as lightning the Lord spoke to me.
" Can you make one thing grow?"
" No, I can't really Lord. In fact, you know the things that don't grow for me. Like my rose bush that is again only leaves."
" Who am I called in Jesus' discussion about gardening?"
" The Gardener", I replied.
So what is the point of all this?
When I take glory for myself, it is like a wilted bouquet. Let me explain. That thought comes from a quote by Corrie Ten Boom.( Don't know her? Check out the movie or book by her called the Hiding Place set in WWII Holland)
She says" When you receive a compliment, think of each one as a flower. Gather them through the day and offer them up to the Lord before bedtime. Otherwise they become a wilted bouquet." That wilted bouquet comes from hoarding some credit for myself. Jesus alone is worthy of ALL praise.
Excuse me, I have some dried flowers to get rid of.

Friend

I am still thinking about the Monk show and the feeling I could relate to - his longing for friends. The trouble began early in life, feeling like I was an outsider in any situation. I can see it in my mind -like a child with nose pressed against a window looking in at friends together. But that is not a reality for me, just a feeling.
In recent years, I have learned that to have a friend you just need to be a friend. I love inviting a new friend out to coffee, though that is euphemism since I do not drink coffee. Then I get to know about them and a friendship developed or doesn't as the case may be.
We have been learning a new song at church. I woke up singing it this morning and it cheered my heart.
I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
He calls me friend.
I even know the sign language for friend- two fingers linked together.
And that song has truth. Jesus did call his disciples( devoted followers) friend. No longer were they just servants. Now if I can take down the lonely girl poster in my mind and wallpaper ,instead, I am a friend of God. He is always available for a coffee date!