Monk

I am not a big TV watcher. We view mostly HGTV or the Travel channel or TLC. But we do have a favorite show- MONK. He is the obsessive/ compulsive detective. Having some of those traits myself, it is fascinating to watch him.
Last night's show brought tears to my eyes and old memories to my mind. He tried so hard to fit in and be one of the gang. To be the one invited to go to lunch, etc. For me, it is the longing to chosen and accepted, too. Perhaps you are athletic, but I am not and was always one of the last ones to be chosen for a team, etc. The sense of rejection still hurts.
Then ,tonight, the Lord spoke to me in a way it finally got through.
Jesus said " I have made you acceptable. I have chosen you."
Song:
I'm forgiven because you were forsaken.
I'm accepted, you were condemned.

I have spent too much time trying to gain approval from the wrong people. And it has been wasted time, since God has already chosen and accepted me.
Now it I can get those powerful facts the 18 inches to my soul.

Give it a chance

Remember the hanging petunia that I told you about, done in by the cutworm? Well a miracle has happened. When it seemed dead, I moved to a corner so it was away from prying eyes, cut it way back and just watered it daily, sure it would die a slow death. But lo and behold, yesterday I noticed a few blooms. Then today it is full of blooms again!!! No one is more surprised than I.
Jesus told a parable about a tree that was not producing. The owner said 'Cut it down'
The gardener said" Sir, I will tend myself, pruning it and fertilizing it. Please give it another chance".
So the owner agreed and when he came back it was huge, with luscious fruit abounding. Sounds like my petunia,huh. Sounds like my life too. Sometimes Jesus has to come and prune me of self- centered motives, self-righteous attitudes and even hard-hearted actions. Then , after I heal from the pruning, I begin to bloom again, with the fruit of love, patience and gentleness or whatever else is the opposite of what was cut off. I am glad that he is patient gardener.

Anger

Last week we also watched the Return of the Jedi. I have forgotten so much!
One quote stood out. The Emperor says " Give into your anger and you become my servant". I thought about Genesis 4:7 where God says to Cain- 'deal with your anger- Sin is crouching at the door of your life. You must master it.' We know the rest of the story. In both the movie and the Bible account, anger wins out. Cain kills Abel and the Emperor gains a servant. Think about what would have been different if each had dealt with his anger.
I need to think about dealing with it in my life- what I call frustration or impatience, since we were not allowed to feel anger in our home. But it can flare in me just the same, no matter what I call it. I need to face it and admit it is anger and then deal with it, not stuff it, as we were taught. This is a growing thing for me. That may seem silly to you, since most people recognize anger. But it is the first step for me. Otherwise I will end up serving the 'Dark side' too.

Wilted

The last couple of weeks I has been as wilted as my lovely hanging petunia. The cutworm finally won out and the plant is devoid of blooms. I , too, have been done in by computer problems and the heat. No excuse, just how it is. I have ideas in my mind that I want to write but they have not made it to this arena.
Some came last week when our middle grandson was here. We saw the final Star Wars movie. The next days I will probably share thoughts.
For today I give you this:
"The fear of losing a loved one is the path to the dark side."
I know that fear and have been learning, even before this movie , to take that fear to the Lord. He is the only security I have since my loved ones can die, disown me or otherwise reject me. If I focus on that fear, I would go crazy, be open to the demonic forces to ravage my life. But when I focus on the fact that God won't die, divorce me, disown me or reject me, my heart is free to love and relax. Even if the worst happens, he is still there.
In the movie, the thing that Anakin feared did happen. He had nothing left to fall back on and , indeed, the dark side claimed him. He never knew that he had a choice. How sad.

I know that voice

We returned to the Filoli gardens this weekend. This time we were joined by my Brother Tim and his wife Diane was well as a friend of ours, Dennis. As soon as we had eaten lunch, Diane and I wandered off through the gardens, chatting about books, kids and life. We thought that the guys were right behind us, but somehow we lost tract of them.
At one point, we thought that we had located the. We saw a man with a floppy hat just like my brother's. But, on closer inspection, Diane mused that she was glad that she had not come up behind this man, who was obviously not my brother, and pinched him on the buns.
The more we searched for the men, the more floppy hats we saw. We began to think that someone was selling them in the parking lot at three for $10.00.
So on we walked, enjoying the beauty and our comfortable conversation. Then, off in the distance, I heard Jon's voice. After 33 years, I would know it anywhere. We followed the sound and discovered our guys ambling along chatting away, just as we had been doing.
In the same way, Jon heard my voice and knew we were coming. We had to retell the floppy hat stories and Diane did pinch my brother, much to her delight and his discomfort.
On the trip home, I reflected on the special day and the uniqueness of a person's voice.
Jesus had something to say on this subject. "My sheep know my voice and they follow me". My relationship with the Lord is also of 33 years duration and I do recognize his voice when he speaks to me, in my mind. As I soak in his Word, I learn how he thinks and what he wants so I don't mistake another's voice for his.

Watermelon

I have been on a computer vacation. With the the heat and this new schedule we are on- up at 5AM -I have not had much energy. But ideas have been floating through my mind so I had to get serious and write them before they floated away.
The other day I stopped at a fruit stand for a variety box- plums, peaches, apricots and nectarine. I also carefully selected a watermelon. I thumped it, shook it, etc. Of course I have never known what it should should like- but I try,
I fixed a nice dinner and cut up the watermelon for desert. UGH. It looked good and smelled good but had NO taste. Part of me was determined to find it good since I paid $3.00. Jon saved me by saying I didn't have to be a martyr and eat it. WHEW.
But he also said that I needed to take it back and demand my money back.
" They don't guarantee their watermelons you know!"
" Well, they should " he grumbled." They should give you a taste first to see if it is good."
" Fat chance of that" I replied.
Then I thought about how God does offer just that.
He says:
"Taste and see that the Lord is good".
But like watermelon, you have to take him in to find out. You won't be disappointed.

Statue of Liberty

In New York harbor, stands a lady
with a torch raised to the sky
and all who see her, know she stands for
liberty for you and me.
I'm so glad to be called an American
to be named with the brave and the free
I will honor our flag and trust in God
and the Statue of Liberty.

On lonely Golgotha stood a cross
with my Lord raised to the sky
and all who kneel there live forever
as all the saved can testify.
I'm so glad to be called a Christian
to be named with the ransomed and whole
As the statue liberates the citizen
so the cross liberates the soul
Oh the cross is my statue of liberty
it was there that my soul was set free
unashamed I'll proclaim that a rugged cross
is my Statue of Liberty.
From the musical"Freeman" 1976

I promise

We all know that a promise is an assurance given that the person will do something. At my wedding, at age 17, my husband promised to be faithful until he died or I did. Unfortunately he neglected to keep that promise.
I had told countless secrets to close friends and many have readily said, "I will never tell a soul" and yet they do!
I have loaned money, a book, a sweater, etc that people vowed to return and never have.
I actually have more ex-friends than I want to admit who said they were going to be my friend for a lifetime and yet, I don't even know their addresses any more- at their request.
Somehow I don't think that I am alone in this. I bet everyone has had a promise broken, at least once. To make matters even worse, I have broken promises myself- without meaning to, of course. The promise to take my kids or grandkids somewhere and my schedule conflicted. I have vowed to pray for someone's urgent request and when they tell me the result, I silently kick myself for not following through.
So how does this apply to God? I have been studying about faith this summer- about believing God is who He says He is and does what He says He will do. Yesterday I heard a song that backed up God's claim that He never makes a promise and doesn't carry out that promise.( Numbers 23:19 if you want to find it).
The words in part:
Promises of mercy
promises of love
Faithfully spoken to me
Every word from your voice
Solid as a rock
Not like the sand of the sea.
I'm believing God. What about you?

Another funeral

I have been to too many funerals this year. The one I attended yesterday was for the same family as the one I went to two and one half months ago. First one daughter-in-law and now the other. What are the odds of that my friend, the Mother-in-law, asked? She asked God that question and His answer was 100% since I have a plan I am working out. Since she knows God well, she says she can rest in the fact that what God does is good for He is good.
But she added that if she had another son she would run as far away as she could. She could not go through this again.
Her one son, the one whose wife died two and one half months ago did the service yesterday! He made one statement that has stayed with me:
Heaven is not a place but a person- Jesus Christ! Know him and you have heaven assured.
That's enough to chew on for now.