If only...

If only I had gone to see my Mom on that last day. But no, I visited a friend and she died before I could get to the hospital.
If only I had not opened my mouth when I did, I might still have that long time friend.
If only they had loved me the way I needed them to, I could have been an emotionally healthy woman.
Disappointment in myself and others has attempted to cripple my life. Things I had hoped to gain and didn't or hoped to avoid and failed to bring such great disappointment.
But you can't get very far looking in your rear view mirror.
Miss Havershem in Great Expectations refused to move on after her devastation and her wounded heart was consumed with her disappointing life.
What to do?
Grief the loss. Denial has no benefit.
Then run to the Shepherd. Allow him to heal the hurts and give you a new future, free of expectations and full of contentment.