Backing up

My Son -in-law drives truck for a living and is a very good driver. Yesterday he took us on a ride in his new pickup to tour the pricey homes in the area. But before we took off he had to get gas. That is when it happened. He simply backed up , full speed to the correct pump. I had to close my eyes and hang on for dear life. Not that he was driving dangerously. It just felt dangerous. In fact, it would have been, if I had done that.
The last night I had a dream about driving my car, though it was not my car, if your know what I mean. Anyway, I was driving my car backwards, full speed. It was scary and not scary. I did not seem to think there was anything wrong in what I was doing except that I was not making any progress forward.
That reminded me that when I was learning to drive, my 'teacher'( my boyfriend, who later became my husband) made me backup for a hour straight until I was in tears and in need of a strait jacket!
I thought about that dream today and wondered if, in fact, I sometimes face life that way, trying to go forward, but looking in the rearview mirror the whole time. By doing that I see only my past hurts and failures. That keeps me from going on in my life, just rethinking and refeeling the past.
Paul said it this way:
" Forgetting what is behind and straining forward to what is ahead I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God called me- eternity with him."
So, while my son - in- law can back up artfully, I will keep me eyes forward and drive into tomorrow, assured of God's plan for me.